Tolerate This.
@ 16/05/07 - 14:34:42For some reason there seems to be a re-emergence of the whole "we must accept homosexual people" regime going around. I am not sure why this has started up again. I honestly believed that we all came to an uneasy truce sometime in the 90s and everyone was happy, secure in knowing that gay people can come out of the closet without fear of prejudice (well, not as much prejudice) and straight people can safely walk the streets fearing not the secret agenda of the rainbow people. Now all of a sudden everyone is talking about intolerance towards homosexuals and I don't understand why. Even my gay friend is at a loss, he thought everything was going just fine. We tried to figure out what the hell is going on last night, but unfortunately the only news source we regularly check is Fark.com.
Anyway some people at my uni have decided to jump on the band wagon with this as well. All over my uni are these posters saying "Stop the intolerance: Homophobic people should be beheaded" or something like that. I wonder if these people realise the irony about this. They propose to "stop the intolerance" by instigating intolerance towards a different group of people. The way I see it is that if you make the choice that there is nothing wrong with homosexuals then you are admitting that there is the opposite choice of not liking them. Just because you made the choice doesn't mean it is the right one, and it doesn't mean you made the wrong one. All it means is that you consciously weighed up the consequences of each choice and picked one that felt right to you. Saying that all homophobic people are evil is just as intolerant as saying all homosexuals are evil. The point is that everyone has the right to believe what they want and we should not go on some crusade to make everyone think the same way we do. However, after saying all this I should probably point out that I am a big hypocrite. I am very pro-gay; in fact, I am so in favour of gay rights that my gay friends go "damn, you are gayer than we are". But that is my choice and I am not going to instantly hate someone just because they think otherwise, and I would stand up for them if they were being beaten up by a bunch of drag-queens (not that it would be that difficult, we all know drag-queens punch like girls).
All good things must come to an end.... including intolerance over the rainbow.
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do yoiu not like me or somethign??? i been your frineds for agaes and you havnt said a worsd to me! i had this roommatr who said you was killer and really cool ans i thougbht shoujld friends yu. i shultnt ne writtng drunmk know, but your the psichologyst ain i'm needin your adaice man. yoi got some gay friends ans i needea knw if you thin; taht yuoi can be gay fore a fer months and ethn sasy oopsy, iim stritgh.
 | Cespenar [Member] 25/06/07 @ 17:06 |
Hey.
Sorry for not talking to you sooner. I like you plenty, I have just been really busy lately with uni and work and stuff and I haven't been able to keep up to date with my blog (hence why I haven't written anything for over a month). So you want to know if I think people can be gay for a few months then become straight again?? Well, in my opinion I think that homosexuality is (like most aspects of a person) on a scale. On one end of this scale are people who are exclusively homosexual, and on the other end are people who are exclusively heterosexual. In between are all manner of people who are bi-sexual and range from mostly homosexual with some heterosexual behaviours to mostly heterosexual etc. So therefore it is possible for a person to have a homosexual relationship for several months then decide that they would prefer a heterosexual relationship for a while. Depending on the person and the circumstances the person might never 'go back' to being gay, or they might alternate between the two for the rest of their lives. Another thing to consider is the individuals age and sexual experiences. It is not uncommon for young and/or inexperienced people to go back and forth from gay to straight as they try to discover who they are. Usually they settle down eventually with a sexual preference that they are comfortable with.
I hope this in part answers your question. I am sorry for not talking to you sooner. Exams are over soon so I should be able to get back to paying attention to other people. Oh and your roommate said I was 'killer and really cool'?? Nice to know that I have a fan base, it does wonders for my self-esteem.
 | Someone-else [Member] 26/06/07 @ 06:45 |
Ta for being so nice to the drunk commenter. My ex bf txtd me the other day, all 'I'm straight now I think so come back' and I guess it messed me up more tahn I thought eh? Its not so mcuh that I give a shit anymore, but I loved im once and he totally fucked me over with all this 'in, out, in ,out' bull shit which has nothing to do with being gay half the freaking time. like most of the time its just i'm nto sure i love you, then yes I do, or I need space then no I don't. I jest think that him going over to the other side was it, you know? hes jerkd me around so long I dont care nnow where he swing jsut so long as he goes away and stays there. Why is it so hard to just telll me what he really wants? go away or saty or be my friend or whartever, just the truth.
I been reading your blogs an I guesss you get hat eh? The feelin of being lyied to. Whyd people who are supposed to care so much fuck you over? you learn about that at uni yet? haha be graet if you could jest enrol in 'liras and fuck-ups 1020' or something. Maybe alld make more sense then.
sorry bout the writing, got thee hangover of the year.
ta for whath you said. it did help me thismornig.
yeah, he was way into bloggin i think he like had ones on 5 different sapces or somsething. hes talked me into joinig here but i didnt have much to say until now... he though t youwer the bees kazoo man! something about xerxes and a lllma or somethin but i havn't read back thet far yet I don think. you still pretty cooll, i don know, guess you see the wlord how its is rather than how everynoe tells you to, you know?
have a great day, ta for bein go nice,
Carr
| Cespenar [Member] 26/06/07 @ 14:58 |
I'm glad I was a little bit of help. It can't be easy for either you or him to deal with. Im not trying to make excuses for his behaviour or anything, but I have seen a friend struggle to come to terms with his sexuality and all the confusion that goes with it. That said it is not acceptable for him to be using you like some sort of heterosexual testing ground.
Perhaps he is scared to tell you what he wants, or maybe he just doesn't know what he wants, but to be in any sort of relationship with someone you need keep talking. Its no good to suddenly decide that one is gay and run off for a sordid romp in the hay with some guy called Lance, only to later come back and proclaim their straigtness and insist things go back to the way they were. That sort of thing doesn't happen without a good deal of communication and honesty. All in all it is probably best to just let him sort it out for himself.
Thank you for saying I'm pretty cool. I don't know about seeing the world how it is though. I just see it how I want to see it and usually how I see it is wrong. Liars and fuck-ups 1020 would be nice, unfortunatly most people don't know what a liar is because they refuse to see the truth. Someone can slap them in the face with a huge load of fact and if it isn't what they want to hear they will say its a lie. Believe me I have done that, to someone I really care about, so now I have lost the best friend I have ever had, all because the truth wasn't what I wanted it to be. So perhaps before they do the Liars and Fuck-ups coarse there should be one like 'truth identification 101' where you sit there and some little bald man with glasses yells abusive truths at you until you break down and cry.
All the best
| Someone-else [Member] 28/06/07 @ 13:01 |
rolf!
True, unpleast, but true. Dude... been there done that. I broke off wid a 10 year besty cause someone sadi shed pashed my boy at the year ten formal. she siad she didnt an Ididnt believe her. stupid guy was into the rumpur cause it made him studly. but she was telling the truth. but since wed been havin probs already it was like too easy to kill it off you know? i miss her cause she knows me better thne i do and i dont have that connection again with nobudy.
as for my ex bf, i dunno. i think thet its almost his way of like keeping all his options open ya know/? so he never hass to comit or anything. the thing is, we had a great relationship an its so hard not to gio back when he akss. i had a cancer scare a few months b4 he wigged out and i have a feelin he deosnt wanna be trapped cause im sick an hve cant leave me you know?
btw i know by typnin is terrible, i havd bad arthritis since midde;l of high school and typin sux. hope you dont mind how sloppy i am.
oh yaeh, my name is Carrie but every1 cals me Carr 
thnx for being so nice to me. if you every need to talk bout anything im all ears.
I'm goth, in case that bothers you. sometinmes peopole get alll weired about it. i don cut myself or eat bat heads or nuthin lolz just wannted you2 know k?
| Cespenar [Member] 28/06/07 @ 15:22 |
Yeah, we have all done things that we later regret, even if at the time of doing said things it all seemed so right. Unfortunatly once done they cannot be undone and all we can do is hope for forgiveness, or at least understanding (we could also occasionally bang our heads against a wall for being such twats, but that is counter-productive to a healthy life-style and doesn't really feel very pleasant).
So you're a goth eh? Thats all good and dandy by me. I actually kind of like the whole goth look and would be one myself if it wasn't for my irritatingly cheerful demeanour (a complete juxtapose to the lastest dribble I have managed to regurgitate on my blog) and the fact that my eyelashes are girly enough without adding mascara to them.
Don't worry about the typing. Yours is just fine. Believe me I have read far worse on this site. Honestly some people must purposefully write incredibly bad just to piss me off. I know that I am not the greatest speller or typer (I've had to use the spell checker 4 times with this comment, who would have guessed that 'juxtapose' had a 't' in it??).
Sorry to hear about the cancer scare. I hope all is well now. I too had a run in with the big C a couple of weeks ago. Had a cancerous mole taken out of my arm. To make matters worse the damn doctors did such a great job at stitching that I only have a tiny little scare. How am I going to impress the girls with a well healed sore?? Pointless.
All the best
Cespenar
| Someone-else [Member] 28/06/07 @ 17:00 |
sorry two haer you had two expierence that. its a real crayz feelin when the doc tels you you may hav cancer. myne was breast can cer whihc runs in my familly. my ssiter had a brest removed few year ago an mum has had a few operations to reovme cencerous tissue or whathavu before. so it was way scry. you got it in your family?
well, im b. arts so i knew juxtapose had a t lolz but ur spellin is fine man. mine'l get better when the cold wears off at bit. i got pills fo it but the do nothin.
bashin your head, yeah, priity counter prodactive. what the hell hppned that ur so beatin up on urself? watever it is, can be that bad.
you can b a chearful goth ist not lik every goth hs to runbout cryin adn glarin at evybody lolz. i don even wear mascrara horrid goop gets in my eyes maks me look like is a tired racoon. but lots of ey shadow. be who ya wanna be man! yu got the brain to decide whatya wanna do wid your life so don let anyon disuade yuo. my parnts are major catholic so a goth dauther wasnt so gr8 for them an they evmn had an interventn for me, i thout they only did that shit in movies lolz. but i stuck it otu yu know? an tehy evetually cam to a peaceful truec with me bout it.
shit is late! gotta get t bed cause i got go ina work early an do all the sale sings n stuf. i hate my job. so goood i geta go back to uni net semestr cause im dying here is so borin an ridgid. is lucky i got a 6 gpa or they wouldnt want m back at all after the pot incidnt. hahaha
later!
| Cespenar [Member] 30/06/07 @ 14:44 |
Thanks. Honestly I wasn't terribly concerned about it when I was told it was cancer. My father is constantly getting bits of himself cut off because of skin cancer and so I just see it as an annoyance more than anything. Sorry about the breast cancer. My aunt had that years ago, had to get both her breasts removed. But she survived that and a more rescent bout of cancer, so it is all good.
You asked about what happened that had me beating myself up. Well its nothing unusual. I fell for a girl badly and she fell for someone else. I was pretty beat up about it, but I could see that this guy made her happy, and that made me happy. Unfortunately I was a chump and while having a particularly bad day I wrote a nasty little blog entry. I wasn't going to post it, and just kept it on my computer but this girl I was dating a little while back read it and insisted I post it. So I listened to her, mainly because she was giving me sex, and posted it. It didn't go over too well and when the girl read it she was understandably upset about a few things I said and I refused to apologize for it (Damn male pride!!). So she vowed never to speak to me again, and I don't blame her for it. What's really got me upset about it all is she was my best friend. She new me very well, and we got on great. It made me realise that even though I had strong feelings for her, what I valued most about her was her friendship. But its too late now.
You have a GPA of 6??!! wow, thats pretty amazing. Good for you. I'm so over uni at the moment. Just want to finish the thing. Next semester should be fun though, there are some interesting subjects, so maybe it wont be so bad.
All the best
| Someone-else [Member] 03/07/07 @ 13:23 |
dude! 6 aint so crash hot when your arts. its like blah blah this painting maens this whatever an dody do splish slash throw some paint about yo know? but im pretyy good apartntly so i kinda do good stuff for the uni. they cen wobble on about my 'achievements' and stuff like they nhad ANYWTHING! to do wid it an that like gets them better grants and shit.
ouchy dude. as somebdy wid 20 minus reltaionship nouse i get where yous was comming form. an i get how you feel now. it was dumb, but i done worse so dont sweat it, your in good company!. you probobly shoultn listent to girls given you sex you know? lolz if theres one thing i understand betre than fucking up it s bein a jelous git. this one time i made a boyf text all his friends an tell em this horribly thing his chick friend did, cause i knew she like fellt stuff for him? it was nasty eh? we was drunk but it doenst change much lolz all iut did was lose me a good boyf. you still wit her? cause she souds like a bitxh eh? like me! rolf you tried pathcingg it up wid the friend? i tryed it wid mine sfter the kissing rumor but she was sic of my shit. mayb e youi have beeter luk than me.
you wanna get outta uni I jest wabnba get back in! haha this place is killen me. an yo don get paiod muchj to sell soaps. just the pizza boy eh? lolz don worry, her boyf will probaly see shes a stuffy tart n drop her so shell be into the hagendas in no time an get all fat lolz
keep bein killer dude, hit me up soon eh?
Carr
| Cespenar [Member] 03/07/07 @ 15:20 |
Hey.
You shouldn't understate your achievements. 6 GPA is damn good, no matter what subjects you are studying.
Yeah, doing things just cause a girl is giving you some lovin' isn't a very good idea. No, I am not still with her, we decided that we were better off as friends. We were too different to be together, mainly because she has a social anxiety disorder, and I am a person (you can see where this is going).
I haven't tried to patch things up with my friend. I really want to. I really miss her, we used to just hangout and talk for hours, but I guess I am afraid to do it. She was pretty angry at me and it wouldn't surprise me if she didn't want to hear from me ever again. Perhaps one day I will get the chance to at least apologize to her for what I did and maybe start to repair our friendship.
To tell you the truth I am actually kind of looking foward to next semester at uni. Some of the subjects sound pretty interesting and to make it better I have found a really nice place to live (without crazy roommates like I used to have).
Take care
| Someone-else [Member] 05/07/07 @ 11:54 |
rolf Yeh, being the boyf would have been difficult as you is part of society. Sorry 2 hear it dude, breakups are hard,specially when theres sex and major issues in the mix. You doin ok?
Crzy roomys are fucked up! we had this guy move in with me and some of my firends and he was nutz! he stole some money and the microwave and bailed a few weeks into his stay. but the worst thing was he watched alll the guys take shjowers! not the chicks, which was weird cause i got some smokin friends. penis envy maybe? cause he hit up all the girls. Confusing fucker. i'm moving back to my old house soon and is all my firends so it should be good.
What uyo doing @ uni next semester?> how long you got to go? i have some boring art history courses an scultpure an this weird abstratc theory course where i hear you gotta paint with a stick blindfolded. what am i learning here? how to make art when i'm blind and lost in the woods? its sux.
sorry to hear you so slammed down by your bf. musta been a big time blow out. hope you get the stones to hit her up for a forgive and forget soon. lol
gota go, is dinner nad mums throwin a woobly, hit me up soon eh?
Carr
| Cespenar [Member] 05/07/07 @ 15:25 |
Thanks, but I am doing fine about the ex. She really is a great girl and we still talk a lot, so it's all good.
Your roommate used to watch the guys have showers?? That is a little creepy, but whatever floats his boat I suppose. Glad to hear that you are looking foward to moving back to your old place. Living with friends is fun, a little bad on the studying though, found that out the hard way.
Hmm what am I doing at uni next semester. Well there is a Physiological psychology course which will be awesome. Also the counseling psych course should be fun. The rest are pretty ho-hum. Umm, I still gots another year at least at uni, but it shouldn't be too bad.
Yeah, I hope I get the stones to talk to her again. Who knows, I might get the chance next semester.
All the best
| Someone-else [Member] 09/07/07 @ 16:35 |
hey good to knwo dude. is she hot? rolf cause thatd make things stick eh? haha mens and women cant be friends dude, is like biological.
yeh he was wack! an he like had no direction when he pissed tooo there was always pee on the floor and the seat an i so glad my house is mosty girls now cept for one of their boyfs but hes cool. oh yeh! livin with friends is hard sespecially on yuor grades eh? i hav to make the NO HANGIN AfTER 8pm rule stick cause i have like add when frineds are around. lol you lived with friends? you gotta be easy goin when you liv with frinds cause its the one sure fire way screw up friendsips. two of my gfs don talk nomore after they moved in together it was like ww3. one was anal an the other dint even know what broom means rolf.
so the mysterty exbesty goes to yoru uni/? that must be awkward. seein he al;l over the campus an stuff. you got the same classes? cause my ex boyf was in sooooooooo many of mine it was like hell an he always held hands with this guy so it was really weirdass.
im all packed up for uni i leave tomorrow afternoon whioch will be aweseom cause i get to blast my music in the car an smoke ALL THW WAY! its gonna be so liberatim after being with my parents for so long.
i don think we have the internet at my new house so if i don hit you up for a while don think im off you k?
Carr
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