So I am back. I didn't mean to stay away this long. At first I had just planned to take a couple of weeks off to catch up on uni work. Of course once I had caught up on that other stuff would come along, so I would say to myself "Just a few more days of catching up and then you can go back". I have been flat-out with uni and work at the moment, it is ridiculous. How do they expect someone to get a solid 18 hours of sleep??
Nothing really great has happened to me lately, but on a good note, nothing terribly bad has happened either. It's been like an episode of Las Vegas; rather mundane and uninspired but the flashy lights and the occasional boob shot keeps you watching.
The only exciting thing to have happened is that my little brother is being shipped over to Afghanistan for 3 months. Honestly I thought we weren't bothering with Afghanistan ever since Bush told us that it was Iraq that causes global warming, forces kids to experiment with drugs, kicks puppies etc. I just can't keep up anymore (not that I really bothered to in the first place). I mean who is the enemy now?? Iraq?? North Korea?? Klaatu?? The way I see it, if you are going to wage a quasi-legal war under the guise of ridding the world of the highly subjective concept of 'evil' then you should really stick to one ethnic group.
Anyway my little brother is going to Afghanistan and frankly I am jealous. I would love to go there (or anywhere near there) and knowing my brother he will stuff it all up. He is a terrible traveller. When he travels he doesn't leave the hotel. The most exotic thing he will get up to (get your minds out of the gutter!!) is furrowing his brow while he tries to figure out which Arabic symbol means 'men’s bathroom'. He would not 'slum' with the natives, he would not eat a local dish and he definitely would not disobey his commanding officer by getting drunk and riding a camel naked. Such a waste.
So being the good brother that I am, I have compiled a list of things that he must get for me while he is over there. Not only will I benefit from having these things, he too will benefit by being exposed to the rich culture that can only be found in war torn countries, broadening his horizons and making him a better person. Here is the list (I know that most, if not all, of these things can't be found in Afghanistan but I figure that he will be close enough to the countries that they can be found in and really what harm can come of taking a quick trip into another country??)
1. One Carpet, preferably magic.
2. A slightly rubbed lamp.
3. One Turban.
4. One camel, named George if he can manage that.
5. Ali Baba's autograph.
6. The lost tribe of Israel.
7. The Ark of the Covenant.
8. An open sesame.
9. An infidel.
10. The Prodigal Son.
11. The praise of Allah.
12. Something 'Halal'
13. A signed copy of the Koran.
14. 3 of the 40 thieves.
15. A bag of dates.
That about does it. I would be happy with any of these. To be honest, I would be even happier if he doesn't do anything stupid and comes back in one piece. All good things must come to an end.... including my little brothers 'axis of subjective evil'.